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im playing a madden season with the cleveland browns because i worry about them and i dont want them to be upset

i feel so bad for athletes who work their whole lives to get into a professional league and then they end up on a crappy team

like even if it’s their fault, what a sour way for a dream to end

Anonymous asked: what if the person who wrote that sign had dyslexia

What are you TALKING about

i prefer to eat meals alone and that is noooooot conducive to this work environment and that’s gonna be a big challenge for me

should i buy a pebble steel OR should i castrate myself

Anonymous asked: Put our money where your mouth is! New album, please!

you guys realize that i can’t just like, “record an album” right

i have to get a venue and like 100 people

that is not easy to do

my new open mic strategy is:

open with 30 seconds of proven good material to get em on your side


i should go to los angeles and do an open mic so i can learn about failure

thatzak said: dang are we brothers or…???

you straight up feel like a brother to me…bro…

i think part of it is definitely “biggest fish in a small pond” thing

i’m not exactly performing at like…the hollywood improv

portland oregon is not known as a comedy mecca

i’ve been feeling super confident with my comedy lately. the last couple times i did open mics i was easily in the top three funniest there (not braggin, just fact)

a lot of people say you get good by bombing but i’m finding that success works well too

i think being successful encourages me to perform more and then i get more practice and get better

i hope this doesn’t sound super arrogant i just…i’m gettin pretty good at comedy and i’m proud of that!!!